Sunday, December 14, 2008

Running for Old People

So, too soon we grow old, and too late we grow smart . . .
Ahhh . . . the days do grow shorter as we approach our elder years.
“Approach . . . what do you mean approach? You’re firmly in the grip of elder years.”
No, no, no. Haven’t you heard? I’m approaching 74. That’s the new 47.
“hahahahahahaha . . . yeah right. Face it, you’re an old geezer.”
No, really. I know I’m approaching 74, but I feel much younger.
“What, you feel 73 ½?”
No, I mean, I feel younger. I feel much as I did in my . . .hmmm . . . how do I feel? Fifty? Sixty? Not forty, surely. I don’t know. I just don’t feel 74. I know I can’t run 13 miles any longer, but still . . .
“What, you ran 13 miles once? On purpose?”
Yeah, I used to run every day, to escape mental fatigue during the Reagan years. I had fixed runs of 3, 6, and 13 miles. I could run mostly along the C&O Canal. I would run to cleanse my mind of Reagan crap.
“So, bubbaluh, what have you been doing during the last 8 years? Running like 50 miles a day to cleanse your mind of the Shrub?”
Well, that’s a problem. And it does relate to being older.
“Old.”
Older.
See, since I can’t run like I once did, we now walk, and do some weight exercises. It’s nice, but not like running. And the Shrub has been wearing us all out. He’s relentless. Every time you think he’s surely at the end of his tyranny, he finds some new way to be outrageous. Puts a strain on all of us. Tough to remain mentally healthy with him at the helm. It’s kind of like having a totally crazy man steering your cruise ship. You’re trying to enjoy yourself, and he keeps doing totally crazy things. I mean, who would have guessed running the economy into the ground, no below ground, right at the end? I thought maybe he might try to bomb Iran, or some other crazed act at the end. But overseeing the second Great Depression. Man, that took some forethought. He’s truly going out with a Big Bang.
“So, now you feel better?”
No, why would you think that?
“Well, since you can’t run any more, seeing as how you’re really old, I assume that you have adopted ranting as the backup alternative to running. See, if you continue to run your mouth, it’s kind of like marathon running. A new form of mental health, in these stressful times. Running for old people.”
Oh.
OK.
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