The Air in the Room
He sucks all the air out of the room. Yeah, that’s the main objective of Trump—so dominating the public consciousness that nothing else is allowed to enter folks’ brains. I can imagine a world in which the last remaining day is beginning to unfold for us. As the day begins, we realize that the asteroid screaming towards Earth will collide in exactly 126 minutes, and then life will cease to exist any longer.
But then Trump appears on the TV screen, or rather his latest Tweet has been revealed and in it he has declared the asteroid story Fake News, and that he will continue trying to make America Great Again.
And we smile, because Trump has done it again. We have stopped talking about the end of life on Earth, and, instead, we are talking about whether his fake hair will remain in place after the asteroid hits the surface of the Earth.
See, nothing else of importance exists. It is only Donald Trump that should command our attention. And if he hasn’t done anything positive lately, then he will give us something unpleasant—maybe he has decided to actually obtain a gun and go out on Fifth Avenue in Manhattan and shoot the nearest bystander, and then claim that the bystander was actually a traitor who was planning on destroying the country by colluding with the Swedes to impose the Swedish language on our public school system, to replace English as the national language.
And then he will declare that the FBI and the CIA are rogue agencies and he has decided to eliminate them by Executive Order. See this is on the heels of his Tweets yesterday in which he “eliminated” all the Federal agencies, except for Homeland Security, and the Department of Defence. The fact that he cannot eliminate Federal agencies by issuing a Tweet is apparently unknown to him, just as his Tweet in which he fired Nancy Pelosi from her job as Speaker of the House.
He doesn’t apparently know anything, and the inquisition being mounted by Nancy and those hordes of traitorous Democrats is apparently interfering further with his limited brain capacity. Since he can only do one thing at a time, e.g., eat a Big Mac, or nuke Syria, all other thinking must be delayed until that one activity has been completed successfully. Only then can he contemplate whether he should move to his big helicopter for another trip to MaraLago. Makes me wonder how he plays golf—all those clubs to decide on. Oh, but his caddy tells him what to do, doesn’t he?
I wonder, can we now finally declare him the Joke of the Year, but that we are finally going to have to move past him by appointing someone with a functioning brain as our President? Turns out that Jimmy Carter, George Bush, Bill Clinton and Barack Obama have now agreed to act as a surrogate president, a sort of President-Committee. They have agreed to serve until after the 2020 election, and the republican’s sole remaining task is to find someone with a functioning brain who has also not yet been totally compromised by Trump. The President-Committee will act by voting on all decisions, and only unanimous votes will move the decisions forward. Oh, and to facilitate the entire election process, the whole of the Democratic candidates have decided to withdraw but to nominate a Fifth Grade English teacher from Brooklyn as the official candidate of the Democratic Party. We hope she accepts the position.
And so this episode of The World is All About Donald Trump will end, and we can resume our normal activity—sucking our collective thumbs, while whining to our collective mommies about the coming end of the world.
And do think about getting registered to vote, and then actually voting. Maybe we can cause that asteroid to swerve a bit by throwing Donald Trump’s hair at it before it collides.
Bye for now. Sleep tight and don’t let the bedbugs bite.