Thursday, April 23, 2009

New States

You know, the more I think about Governor Perry of Texas, and Governor Palin of Alaska and their secessionist tendencies, the more I am drawn to believe that we need some kind of option for the more idiotic members of our Union. I know that Mr. Murdoch and his Fox News Republicans would chant, on cue, “Love us or leave us”, but perhaps we need another option.
I know we are not going to allow Texas and Alaska to leave, really more on principle than any serious value they bring to the table. Alaska’s pretty of course. Texas is . . . well, it’s Texas. But perhaps we could collect the nation’s idiots and forge a new collective somewhere. I was thinking maybe they could all go to someplace like Guam, or Tinian Island. They’d be happier there, surrounded by other fellow idiots. And think of how much happier we would be if Sarah the Impaler and her hubby, Gov. Perry, Rush, Glenn Beck, Mr. Hannity, the Newtster, and of course, Charles Krauthammer were to depart. Maybe George Will could join them and begin scolding his fellow idiots so as to enhance their dress standards. We could allow each of them to select, say 100 or so fellow idiot “friends” as in Facebook to accompany them. Wouldn’t want them to be lonely after all. We could arrange for a supplies boat once a month with ample supplies of oxycontin, plantain, and frozen MacDonald’s Big Macs.
They’d be happier there obviously, and without any TV, radio, or Internet, they wouldn’t ever again have to listen to news about President Obama’s approaches to convert the US to a fully Socialist State. See, that’d be nice. They could all just relax and drink Plantain MaiTai’s.
Just a thought.
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