Friday, November 6, 2009
A crazed woman claiming to be from Minnesota was seen screaming at an angry crowd, that “they” shouldn’t take away her health care. Clearly delusional, and in need of psychiatric medication, the woman was overheard repeatedly muttering under her breath, “hoist up the ladder, Jack, I’m aboard”, that well known mantra of compassionate-conservatives. The woman seemed to be suffering from some form of republican PTSD, that now common psychopathic state induced by the withdrawal of someone named Dickie-Bird Cheney from her life. The crowd was seen comforting her by chanting “Heil Hitler” over and over again.
And elsewhere, The New York Yankees decided to move to Peoria as a protest against the re-election of Mike Bloomberg. A Yankee spokesperson stated, “we’re the world champs, and we don’t want to be associated with rich assholes like that. Even we have standards, you know.”