Friday, October 22, 2010

The Juan Williams Show

“So, Juan, Fox News would like to hire you and we have a $two million contract waiting for you to just say yes. So, what do you say?”

“Hmmm, sounds like an offer I can’t resist. I will have to give my NPR employer notice, however and that might take some time to arrange.”

“We have a better idea, Juan.”

“We would like you to get yourself fired by NPR. That way, we won’t have to wait. Plus, your firing will also be a cause for the network to attack NPR and attempt to get them defunded by the Feds.”


“Here’s the deal, Juan.”

“Bill here is going to attack Muslims for their 911 attack on the US. That always gets us good feedback by our viewers. They love it when we are politically incorrect. That’s our trademark. So, Bill will say some attack dog thing. Then, we will invite you onto the O’Reilly Show, and you can say something supportive. We suggest something like, “Bill, I think you were right in your commentary. I have to tell you, when I get on an airplane and I see someone in Muslim garb, I get this very uneasy feeling. I know it’s politically incorrect, but I can’t help it. They attacked us, and now I wonder whether they will do it again.”

“Hmmm, I guess I could do that.”

“Yeah . . . then we are guessing that NPR will be furious and want to fire you. “

“After they are securely in the trap, we will invite you back onto the O’Reilly Show and you can say something like, “NPR has wanted to fire me for a long time, because I don’t fit into their liberal mindset.” They really don’t like and don’t know how to manage true conservatives. We make them uncomfortable. So, they just used this Muslim remark as a pretext for doing what they wanted to do anyway.”

“How does that sound, Juan.”

“Hmmm . . . I like it. And $two million? Really?? When do we get started . . .”

And so began the Juan Williams Showtime . . .

Remember their motto folks:

“Fox News . . . we lie so you don’t have to.”
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