As the nation remains fixated on Hosni Mubarak’s public nightmare, John Boehner and his GOP monsters are coming out from under your bed. Applicants for Obama’s job are appearing everywhere magically, sort of like the wee people in the Wizard of Oz. They foresee a golden road leading to the palace owned jointly by the wicked witch of the west and the Wizard behind the curtain. And ladies and gentlemen, they are beginning to let us view their platform. Let’s see, what’s on their “To-Do” list for us?
1. Well, obviously, first on their must-do list is to take away health insurance for some 40 million men, women, and children. Some say it’s 40 million, some think it may be 50 million, but, hey, who’s counting? The key is, if you didn’t have health insurance before Obama, you won’t have it when they take control. The health insurance industry will once again feel perfectly safe to deny you coverage.
2. Then, although they decry government when it concerns the general welfare of the American people, they desperately want government to control (read “say no”) whether women can have an abortion. Dear John Boehner is even redefining rape, so he can have his way.
3. Reducing income taxes for their über-rich overlords, you know the Cock Brothers, the banking CEOs, and, of course, let us not forget Rupert the Magnificent. And how will they pay to reduce the taxes of the wealthiest? Well, by eliminating Medicare and Social Security—they do so want to get rid of those two legacies of a humane society.
4. Now this one is complicated and I’m not sure I understand how they plan to accomplish it, but they seem intent on eliminating America’s Middle Class. Their vision of that shining country on the hill seems to be a two class society—the über-rich and everyone else. This democracy stuff is complicated and messy and they appear to be obsessive-compulsives regarding neatness. So, they would like to see a return to an oligarchy, where dukes rule the land and act collectively as a sort of super governing council. They, of course, see themselves as the barons of the land – Baron John has such a nice ring, don’t you think?? The recent meeting of the dukes in Rancho Mirage (what a great name for a meeting of the über-rich) could be seen as a sign of things to come—instead of Congress and all that mess, the dukes would simply meet in fancy-schmancy places and then tell us what they decided via Twitter.
5. Lastly, they really want to change their beloved Constitution, some might say just eliminate it, by inserting a provision for states to opt out of any laws they don’t like, and even to leave this blessed Union to form their own country. Yeah, both the Governor of Texas and Sarah Barbie think that they could do just fine on their own thanks.
So, that’s it folks. I’m sure they will issue a few more boffo planks (making unions illegal??) in their platform for 2012, but that’s probably enough for now. Oh, I’m just so excited at the prospect of a Republican oligarchy replacing this old mess we call America.
Oh, and I forgot, Baron John wants to replace that old saw, "In God We Trust" with "Let'm Eat Cake". He thinks it has a nice ring to it.