Can we next discuss the alternate universe in which Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, and the Easter Bunny are real?
We could discuss, for example:
1. Does Santa pay his elves union wages, and does he supply benefits, including especially health care? Elves, it turns out, have special medical needs associated with traveling in an oxygen-deprived environment for such long time period, and then having to waiting around on freezing roof tops while the old jolly guy jumps down chimneys and does his thing.
2. How big is the tooth fairy, and how does she know enough about international exchange rates to keep track of her payment schedules? Does she maybe have financial advisory fairies?
3. Does the Easter Bunny dress up before visiting the homes of little boys and girls and hiding jelly beans all over the place? Wouldn’t want to think of our precious little ones awakening and seeing a naked bunny running around their house. And, also, does the bunny now buy her jelly beans from China like everyone else?
We have never to my best understanding had a serious debate among the fairy scholars of our land of these issues. I’m sure they are discussed in closed quarters within such eminent academic establishments as Jerry Falwell’s Liberty University, but it would be good for the main ranks of the fairy believer population to see serious people engaged in these serious intellectual pursuits.