Monday, June 18, 2012

Fathers Day

Fathers’ Day is a special day for us guys, at least the ones of the Father set. It always makes me think back to when our children were little ones and fathering often meant holding a little one to shelter or just cuddle. But it was after the kids were no longer kids when a different set of joys began—the ability to talk as adults, with the full understanding that your kids had/have an independent view of the world, and that you really don’t know everything. When they leave the nest, you hope that they leave as prepared as possible.  When grandchildren arrive, a new realization sets in. Although you now have new loved ones, you also have different responsibilities.  Your children are now the principal caretakers of this new generation. It is not that you have no responsibilities to the new generation, but your responsibilities are not those of the parents. So, again, you must enter a different relationship with your children, now fully adult.

Because I guess we all need to think of ourselves as all wise and all knowing, these new relationships are not always easy to engage, or free of problems. What we hope for is that our children will lavish the love and the care that all children need to become fully functioning adults and, as importantly, partners and eventually parents of their own little ones.
So, having reached an age at which I can see three generations ahead, I am happy that the process continues to play out and I can see that each successive generation that has followed me is forging ahead to become successful adults. And all this reminds me of a saying attributed to that wise old man, George Bernard Shaw:
“Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.”

May all the generations ahead rediscover the essential truth therein.
So, til the next Fathers’ Day, Ta ta . . .
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