Sunday, June 3, 2012

Presidents and Bidness

So the Mittster now thinks it’s ok, maybe even desirable that our Constitution should redefine the requirements for Presidential candidates to include at least three years business experience.  I guess that’s to assure that we might have more candidates like himself, Shrub, and that old Republican favorite Herbert Hoover.  I mean, his requirement would eliminate one of their standard bearers, St. Ronald, as well as Ike, but what the hell. It would also, of course, eliminate FDR, JFK, Bill Clinton (the last guy to produce an actual budget surplus) and Teddy Roosevelt.  But Joe the Plumber would be OK. And, of course, The Donald, one of the Mittsters most vigorous supporters.

I suppose, since he wants it inserted into our Constitution, we would need to define what he means by “business experience”. I mean, would he include my picking corn and tomatoes as a 13-year old in that definition? I figure my summer jobs alone would almost give me the prerequisites.  Does babysitting count?? Surely, my summer jobs would count at least as much as being a banking CEO who led the country over a financial cliff.  And would you have to have been rated as “successful” for it to count? So, would Shrub’s experience in Texas, during which he tried and failed to find oil be counted?? And does playing the part of a delusional psychopath on the Faux News Network count? See, we would really need to get specific here.
So, Mitt’s suggestion may still need some work. But good going, boy, at least it’s a sign that you’re not yet brain dead.
But, I would like to return to another area of inquiry. It has been suggested by some wag that the Mittster may actually be a unicorn—you know, one of those mythical creatures, shown below without his human disguise:
I grant you that I am not sure that the Mittster’s big hair style hides a unicorn’s horn, but hey, what do I know?? Something like 25,000 people in Arizona have raised the question, so we need to at least consider obtaining some evidence. After all, I am told that:
So, I guess it wouldn’t hurt to be sure. Maybe we should ask Mitt’s Mexican family whether any of them married a unicorn.  Couldn’t hurt.
Always thinking.
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