Thursday, December 20, 2012

End of the World Party


The end of the world will begin in about 15 hours, give or take a few minutes, depending on how precise the Mayans were.  Aside from figuring out what to wear to an end of the world party, I have been trying to think how we might end it in a fun fashion. And, living here in Concord, NC, the land of NASCAR racing, and many, many gun lovers,  I suddenly thought that, we could bring together those grand traditions for a real, bang-up end of the world party at the Concord NASCAR Speedway.
How about, if we get all the great NASCAR racers to modify their cars just a bit, by opening up half of the roof to accommodate a mounted, fully automatic 50-caliber machine gun.  Each car would have its driver and a gunner in the car. Then we would invite all the great NASCAR fans who love to attend the races, in hopes of someone maybe crashing and blowing up. But, each fan would have to bring his own weapon of choice, preferably a semi-automatic assault rifle of some kind (Bushmaster anyone??).
Then the race would start. The starting time would have to be arranged to accommodate the end of the world, say four hours in advance.  The idea would be to see whether any of the drivers and their cars could finish before the world ends.  Here’s the concept. As the cars race around the track at 150 miles per hour or so, the fans would begin shooting at the cars. In return, the gunners in each car would begin firing their machine guns at the crowd—it would be sort of a race to see who could outlast who—the racers and their gunners, or the fans. And it would be no fair for the fans to duck and take cover. No sirree. They would have to stand up in the stands while firing their weapons.
Think of the grand mayhem. Think of the noise, with all those guns blazing, cars crashing at high speed . . . the smoke, the crowd roaring. Wow! What a party. The beer and Jack Daniels would be free of course.  It would be best to end the party thoroughly plastered. What fun!!
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