Saturday, December 15, 2012

NRA Thanks

I guess it’s time we thank the National Rifle Association for keeping us all, including our little children, safe and for protecting our second amendment rights from the likes of that socialist-fascist crypto commie from Indonesia-Kenya, who wants to take all of our 50 caliber machine guns and anti-tank weapons away from us.  So, yes, NRA, thank you. And I’m certain that the parents of all those kindergartners around the country whose kids are not now dead suddenly will want to thank you personally for the fine protections you afford us.  After all, there were probably 20,000 elementary schools around the country without having a single shot fired at their children yesterday.
And Mr. Boehner, please don’t think that now is the time to have an intelligent conversation about guns in America. No, later, much later, Mr. Boehner. At least wait until Mr. laPierre can fill your stocking with some much needed cash before you even think about conversations about such things.  No, we understand that this is the season of love and merriment. Wouldn’t want to mess it all up with talk about 26 dead people in Connecticut, 20 of whom were between the ages of 5 and 10.
Oh, and you too Mr. Murdoch, and your Faux News Network whores, all of whom decried Mr. Costa’s remarks about guns a week or so ago. Yes, we should also thank you and your bevy of fine whores for helping to protect us.
I am thinking that we should all consider sending the NRA and even Mr. Murdoch a Christmas card, and perhaps a little gift. As for gift ideas, I have a nifty for the head of the NRA. Since Mr. LaPierre and his colleagues have been so successful at protecting our right to own and bear automatic weapons, they are no longer a concern. Next would be dynamite vests. Yes, I am certain that our Founders would have included dynamite vests in the Second Amendment had they only known what they were. So, perhaps, to get the NRA started on lobbying for protections, perhaps the more gifted among us might begin knitting personalized dynamite vests for the head of the NRA and all the Faux News whores who pimp for gun rights.  Remember, dynamite doesn’t kill people. Only people can kill people . .  .
And a little Christmas card for Mr. LaPierre would be in order also. Something perhaps like the one below, just to show our appreciation for all their hard work.

Tis the season.
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