Saturday, August 30, 2008

First Barbie

So, are they being clever, or is this some giant insider joke being played on all of us ordinary folks? Sarah Palin .. . Miss Wasilla????. Are they kidding? I mean, isn’t this taking inexperience to a fare-thee-well as a criterion?
I imagine “Da Guys”, sitting around the old conference table, maybe late evening, sipping their third glass of Scotch, trying to reach consensus on the criteria for the VEEP slot.
Ok, so we agree it has to be a woman to grab the Hill fans.
Yeah, but she has to be a hottie. We don’t want some dowdy babe in a stretch pants suit, do we?
Yeah, ok – hot broad. What else?
Clearly, she needs to be anti-abortion and anti Gay Marriage.
Goes without saying .. . next?
Wouldn’t hurt if she were pro-gun, huh? Do we know any pro-gun women??
Hmmm .. . could be tough.
What about drilling for oil? We can’t have some tree-hugger.
No, tree huggers are out.
How about smart. Do we want a smart broad?
Irrelevant. Next
Foreign policy knowledge or experience?
How about the Economy, guys. They’re going to hammer us on the economy. Hey, how about we find us a hot female-type economist?
They don’t exist . . . besides, it’s irrelevant. She doesn’t have to know anything. I mean, look at Dan Quayle.]
Yeah, better if she’s married. We don’t want smart guys speculating on Big Mac’s relationship with her.
So, where are we???
Hey gang, someone’s on the phone from, of all places, Alaska . . .
Hahahahahahahahaha . . .
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