The End May Be Near

I was listening to a newscast yesterday and they began reporting on the weather in Europe, and, more specifically, France. They reported on extreme heat, extensive fires, and serious water issues in Paris. It sounded like France was collapsing. And I began thinking, maybe life is nearing its end. Perhaps we are at the end of a civilized life on Earth. We seem to be dealing now with extremes. Either some area is burning down, or the rains are flooding a different region. It’s as though there are no normals any longer.  And the people in charge seem not to want to discuss this thing called weather. And that may be because they would then be drawn into a discussion of all the man-made interventions that individually have now added up to a disaster. We won’t do anything about emissions control, so our emissions of stuff like carbon dioxide have continued to change the natural course of the weather. It all seems so unlikely, but now the full reality of our lack of interest in sensible controls over our own actions has begun taking root in drastically modifying our environment and, specifically, our climate.

The question in my mind now is, can we still modify our actions so as to return to “normal” patterns of climate, or is it too late? I fear the latter has taken hold.  Partly my conclusion here is governed by what I observe in our current government. Trump seems to have eliminated our entire health system of expertise—FDA, CDC, NIH, et all—so that we will no longer have any internal controls over disastrous public policies affecting the environment.  So now, he is guided by the idiots in his administration –so many idiots, so little time.

And whatever the level of yelling at Trump, he seems capable of ignoring all commentary from opposition forces.  I keep seeing postings about how someone is filing something that may cause him to be stopped, but then he just keeps on truck’n,

Now, I know that my gloomy mental state is partly due to my loving wife’s departure from this Earth. Yes, that has left me with a doomy view of our world. But, partly, Donald Trump keeps on acting stupidly and his political party has apparently given up on any kind of thinking that might affect his actions.  Might the rest of the world begin swerving away and leave America to its own rush to climate disaster? That is possible, since we really do seem to be the dumbest kids on the block.  But that picture I painted initially of France and its disastrous weather, raises serious questions in my mind. Have we already proceeded too far towards a climate disaster?  And my response? Maybe, and we still have a couple of years of the Donald pushing us in the direction of total Climate collapse and the end of Life on Earth. Fun, Huh?

Dying

 That Dying Thing

We sat there by her bedside, watching over her, with Erika doing the actual checking and administering pain meds as needed. We spoke with her and listened carefully to see if we could detect her voice trying to speak.  Then finally, she stopped breathing. Her brain gave out and she was gone. No more pain, but also no more life. And Carol was gone. Yes we use this term to imply a voyage of some kind. But in reality her voyage simply ceased.  Her brain ceased to function and that signals the end of life.

And then I sat there looking at her, or rather looking at what used to be Carol.  Because Carol, the longtime Love of My life, had just ceased to operate.  And I continued to function, thinking of her. I might speak with her, but she would no longer respond, because her brain had ceased to function.  And now, I was actually alone.  She is in my brain still, but she is all part with me. My brain is now Carol’s.

And now, weeks later, I still sense her presence. I will be sitting watching television, and I turn to her next to me to ask her something. But next to me is now empty.  Well, Midnight our cat might be next to me, but he does not speak in a language I comprehend.  And I go to sleep at night in our bed, still in my accustomed place on our bed. And then, in the middle of the night, I awaken slightly because I think I feel her moving next to me. But No, it is again Midnight.

And then I vaguely awaken. It is 5 o’clock, still too early, but my brain has begun to function, even if only half functioning.  But my awakening has begun.  And then I decide to awaken and arise. Now my brain begins to function.  But then, for the rest of the day, I will function with her at my side.  And I have begun to think of this phase as some early dying stage. I am still functional, but something is missing. Maybe the dying has begun. But how long will this last . . . until I actually die in X days/months/years? Maybe. Perhaps this is life AFTER losing the single most important thing in your LIFE. Odd  . . . very odd.