Yet Another Day

 And so another day is going by without her.  I am surviving, but just barely. I am fortunate because I have loving family, daughters who care and are willing to do lots of things to help keep me alive and healthy.

But as I remain alive, I keep looking around me. I am constantly reminded that humankind occupy this tiny piece of earth in this vast universe.  And that humankind often seem to think about how important they are. Whereas, all of humankind is a mere speck of dust in this vast universe. I have lived a mere 91 years in a universe that seems millions of years old. But we don’t even know that. We simply make up stuff based on the vast evidence around us. Mostly though, we ignore the vastness of this universe and pretend that we Earthlings are what matters. And lately, we have begun imagining that individual creatures, Donald Trump, for example, are even more important than the rest of us.

As a result, that particular piece of vermin is beginning to shape shift into a different kind of creature.  He thinks of himself as somehow more important than the rest of us. And he has creatures around him, Mike Johnson for example, who cry out to all other mortals about how important is his bossman.

And now, because of his bossman, people, kids especially, may be dying because that creature has begun removing those things that keep those children alive.  And his MAGAHeads, the population of idiot-malenfants who surround him, keep cheering him on and yelling at other normal creatures to leave the bossman alone.

And all this just reminds me that fairly obviously, there is no God out there looking out for us humanfolk.  Nope, we’re all alone in this vast universe. And whatever we do here has no serious effect out there in that vast universe. So, even were there a God, she would simply ignore us and go back to playing cards with the other gods, or whatever it is Gods do all day long.

So, with my lifelong sweetie gone from this earth, I am forced to still tune into the doings of that humankind and watch the Donald Trumps of the world and their BFFs (Vlad the Impaler) destroy this lovely, even if tiny, piece of this universe. Yeah, America, you are just a teeny-tiny speck of dust in this universe and Donald Trump is even tinier.  Trump is like a roach who settled into America so as to destroy it. And he is doing such a good job at his destructive mission.  Good thing we’re not a bigger part, or those MAGAHead idiots might actually threaten even this entire universe. And they won’t even know what they are doing.

Is There a God?

 Having now lost my trusted soulmate of over 70 years, my wife Carol,  I am forced to turn my head towards people still alive, so I can begin wondering WHY? Why do they remain, while my loving wife is gone? I observe many comments about God lately. How it is so wonderful that we have a loving God and that that creature created us all.

But then, I am forced to stop. Really folks? You think there is a God who created all this stuff, and all these people? Your God created Donald Trump and his hordes of awful family and even worse friends. God created Pete Hegseth? Why would God do such a thing?

And also . . . God Created Vlad the Impaler Putin? Oh, and thinking of Trump and Putin, God created Adolph Hitler? Really? And you seriously worship THAT GOD?

So, with the passing of my loving wife, I am now being drawn inevitably to the notion that either there is a God, and she pays no attention, or all of this is merely some weird bioaccident. Maybe God wasn’t paying attention and she knocked over something and our universe resulted from that accident. And then, again because she was not paying attention, evolution occurred and things began forming out of nothing all over that accidental universe.  And one of the more pathetic formations that resulted was humankind. And everything since has been simply an extension of that original accident.

In some weird way, perhaps again because she is not paying attention—maybe she’s playing cards with other Gods?—humans mutated into this collection we find in front of us. Look at this collection of idiot-malenfants surrounding Trump.  I mean, I don’t know who/what surrounded Hitler, but this bunch could well be worse—both on the competence level and on that evil thing.

And again, she is clearly not paying attention, or hopefully she would step in and begin making corrections. But I think the Trumpy MAGAHeads are evidence that God either does not care, or simply never pays attention to what occurs on this teeny-tiny extension of the vast universe she created by accident.

So, I assume that means that we are stuck with it. For all purposes, there is no God ready to step in to fix the crap being created by the Trumpy’s.  So, folks, I guess if you like what is happening then good on you. But if you are more normal human creations, you Hate what is going on. And now, it is really waaaaayyy past time to step in and correct it. First by throwing out everyone and everything associated with Trump – EVERYTHING.  Maybe package them up and ship them ALL to maybe Pluto.  Then begin anew to recreate America the way our founding fathers envisioned.

But I don’t know. I hope that is possible, but it may not be and maybe we are at an end. If so, BY By Humankind. It was nice being here. But perhaps all good things actually do come to an end.  We shall see won’t we?

 

And so another day has begun. Ahh, but this day is so different. My love of more than 70 years has passed on, May 26^th to be precise. She suffered for a while from one or more conditions, and her body finally gave up its battle. And Carol Schmidt has now left me, and, more to the point, she has left you. She was loved and respected in so many spheres and by so many people that it is difficult to assure that all who knew her now realize she is no longer with us.

Carol’s life was so embedded with mine that her passing is too difficult for me to describe.  But, however close she was to me, and that was very close, she affected so many people in so many ways.  Her three children, her grandchildren, her great grandchildren all knew her well and respected her love and caring.  Carol was surrounded by love and passed on her love every minute of every day.

But Carol also gave back to our world.  She spent so many hours of each day creating quilts for sick kids at our local Jeff Gordon Children’s Hospital, creating over time hundreds of quilts, each one to make a sick child a little happier.

She also worked with our local library, teaching folks who could not read or write English well, to do it all a little better. She was loved for her work.

She was an amazing chef, mainly for me, but also for kids, grand kids, Greats, and good friends. So many people were so happy because of her cooking skills, and the love included.

But I felt our 70+ years together as a precious gift we gave to each other. We traveled the country and the world together. We lived in New York, and California, and India, and Massachusetts and Maryland, before arriving at our final homestead in North Carolina. WE loved our life here and it was reciprocated by all those around us. There are too many tales to tell, but mainly there is the LOVE. We loved each other so much and Carol was so much a part of me. When people now ask, “How are you?” I do not know how to answer. Because my brain is so filled with my now departed loving wife.

My LOVE, I Love you. You are still a large part of my brain. You are loved. I still think of July 2, 1955 as the day my real life began. You may be gone, My Love, But you will never be forgotten.