The Sky And You

 I look up at the sky this morning, and ask, “Are you there, My Love”? Sitting up on some cloud looking down at me and the rest of us trying to stumble our way through our various lives.  Well, No, I know you are not up there. No one is up there, not you, not Nana, not Daisy. Nope.  It’s just clouds and sky up there. And I know, whenever I look up and ask if you’re there, that I am speaking to my brain, ya know, your part of my brain.  You see, I also know that you won’t actually go away until I go away, cuz you are part of my brain. I wonder if that works if you have only been married a year or so.  Surely, after 50 years, our two brains became one.

I sort of wish that the fairy tales about God and Heaven were true. That is so much nicer a concept than that we simply disappear.  It is really too bad that folks just invented that entire concept. I know, I know, they invented it so they could control you. That part I get. But they also had a sweet imagination. The only thing is I never really understood the Heaven thing. I mean, we all go up there (well the good guys) but then what do we do? Just hang out?  I mean do the dudes play pool, or re-enact football? And what do babies do, ya know when a baby age 8 months croaks, what do they do up there?  I mean, they have no friends and can’t really talk.

But, back to you my Love. As you doubtless know, I still think you are next to me when I am watching TV, or driving, or even sleeping.  But that is my brain I know. Now, to be fair, I have never turned to one side and seen your visage. Nope, I do turn, but no one is there.  As it should be.  My brain is looking for you, while knowing you are not there.  Still, I do wish you were.  You should know that you continue to guide me. If ever there is a question, “Should I do this?” I think about what you would say. And you always push me to do the right thing, as you did when you were actually here, So, Brain-Carol, keep on truck’n. I continue to need you and need your guidance. You remain a wonder, as you always were. And I keep on asking myself, :How did I ever get so fortunate to have you as my loving wife?” You were a wonder then. You remain a wonder.