Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire

So the first debate is in the history book being written by the Faux News Network. And I understand that Bill O’Reilly is writing another book, entitled “Who Killed America”, in which he blames the political campaign season for the demise of America the Beautiful. I understand that he and Jon Stewart collaborated on the book (well technically, they each wrote half, and O’Reilly is still arguing about whose half gets to go first).

I know that some people think that it wasn’t POTUS who showed up at the debate but his body double, supplied by the Secret Service (SS). Others argue that he was out drinking champagne with Michelle to celebrate his victory over the Mittster, since he was certain that his pet rock might have been able to beat Romney.

But No, everyone insists that Romney won.  But what they don’t say, or perhaps don’t agree on is, just exactly what he won. Liar of the Year???

Let’s see, he came on stage, played the part of the Village Liberal by lying about his proposals to make them look like a far lefty had written his answers. Obama was so taken aback by Romney’s absurdist replies to questions that he was unable to respond himself.  In her Sunday column, Maureen Dowd nailed the whole thing, when she made Obama sit down with President  Bartlett (even better than Clint arguing with an empty chair) who posed as Romney, while coaching POTUS on how he should have replied.

Dowd goes on . . .

“BARTLET “I want to take that $716 billion you’ve cut and put it back into Medicare.”

OBAMA The $716 billion I’ve cut is from the providers, not the beneficiaries. I think that’s a better idea than cutting the exact same $716 billion and replacing it with a gift certificate, which is what’s contained in the plan that’s named for your running mate.

BARTLET “Pre-existing conditions are covered under my plan.”

OBAMA Not unless you’ve come up with a new plan since this afternoon.

BARTLET “You doubled the deficit.”

OBAMA When I took office in 2009, the deficit was 1.4 trillion. According to the C.B.O., the deficit for 2012 will be 1.1 trillion. Either you have the mathematics aptitude of a Shetland pony or, much more likely, you’re lying.

BARTLET “All of the increase in natural gas has happened on private land, not on government land. On government land, your administration has cut the number of permits and licenses in half.”

OBAMA Maybe your difficulty is with the words “half” and “double.” Oil production on federal land is higher, not lower. And the oil and gas industry are currently sitting on 7,000 approved permits to drill on government land that they’ve not yet begun developing.

BARTLET “I think about half the green firms you’ve invested in have gone out of business.”

OBAMA Yeah, your problem’s definitely with the word “half.” As of this moment there have been 26 recipients of loan guarantees — 23 of which are very much in business. What was Bain’s bankruptcy record again?

BARTLET And finally?

OBAMA Governor, if your ideas are the right ideas for our country, if you have a plan and it’s the best plan for our future, if your vision is the best vision for all of us and not 53 percent of us, why aren’t you able to make that case in the same ZIP code as the truth?

BARTLET And?

OBAMA Tell John Sununu anytime he wants to teach me how to be more American he knows my address for the next four years. He used to have an office there before he was fired. “

So, maybe Maureen Dowd should be POTUS’ coach for the next session. She knows how to speak truth to inanity.